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Confidence vs Arrogance: Fear is not my future

A weird barrier that people have to becoming braver is they’re worried about being “too confident”. They’re worried about straying into the realm of what we call arrogance. This actually stops them from developing their courage or sense of self belief, because they think any kind of backing yourself and going for it and upsetting other people is the same Read More

When you feel no attraction for your date

A client of mine just flicked through a quick message. He says, I met a girl, we had a great chat, but I don’t have attraction 1. Is it okay to mention that? and, 2. is it okay not to get her number? In other words, what do you do next when you’ve met someone new but realised you don’t Read More

The Courage to Be Disliked

Caring what other people think of us is probably the biggest concern most people face in the lives. Our phobia of being disliked is the greatest barrier to living a full authentic life. It’s nearly impossible to behave with confidence if you cannot allow yourself to upset others, disappoint them, disgust them, or otherwise risk their disapproval. Being a brave Read More

Fear Mongering: The Secret to Courage and Bravery

Fear Mongering is the term I give to the manipulative strategy and tactics your own fear employs to control your behaviour. In this video, we’ll explore the devious tricks your mind will play on you to prevent you from taking bold actions and positively changing your life. We’ll dive into why fear does not have your long-term best interests at Read More

A feminist journalist triggered my Imposter Syndrome

Let’s talk about Imposter Syndrome. If this term is new to you, it basically describes the self-doubting fear that you are secretly a fraud, and that you’ll be exposed if you’re not careful, even though you’re trying your best to provide value and have no evidence to suggest that you are deceiving anyone or lacking in skill. When I first Read More

The Avalanche Threat: Fear’s sneaky trick

One of the many sneaky tricks that fear plays on us is a kind of catastrophizing that I’ve come to call The Avalanche Threat. It’s the terrifying sense that if you even take a tiny little step in a direction of change, you’ll create an Avalanche; a knock-on effect of uncontrollable consequences that you won’t be able to stop. And Read More

The weird urge for Nice Guys to self harm

A weird part of Nice Guy Syndrome is what I call “the masochism impulse”; the desire to do self harm. Now it’s not classic self-harm behaviours, like cutting yourself or attempting suicide. It’s more subtle, like random risk-taking behaviours, provoking potential conflicts, sabotaging your career, or eating unhealthy food and taking drugs. I used to drink so much that it Read More

Can nice guys attract a woman?

A question about Nice Guys I see asked a lot is, can a nice guy actually attract a woman? Do guys with nice guy syndrome actually have dating experiences and get into relationships? The answer is of course they do, but not all of them. Only a certain type. Most nice guys struggle when it comes to dating and relationships. Read More

Bravery is Not The Absence of Fear

Bravery is not the absence of fear. This is pretty old school wisdom. A lot of people want to be brave and more courageous. They think this means they’re not going to experience fear sensations, they’re going to be fearless. And though they might not put it out there exactly like this, they’re kind of dreaming of being permanently fearless, Read More

I got caught exaggerating!

Daily Dose of Integrity One of my favorite clients called me out today in a way that I like. Whenever he asks me how I’m doing, I nearly always complain about how I don’t get enough sleep because my kid’s not a great sleeper. He pointed out that quite often in my content – especially shorter videos and posts – Read More

Afraid of being too sexy??

I had a client say that he was afraid of being sexy! This might sound a little ridiculous on the surface, but he’s actually expressing a fairly common fear: that you will mistakenly lead someone on by attracting them and causing them to feel interested in you against your will. They will then develop feelings for you without your encouragement, Read More

Forgive yourself for being manipulated

If you’ve ever been in a manipulative relationship, or been conned, bullied, or abused, then you know the real damage done is your loss of self trust. There’s something about getting “got” – about being successfully manipulated by others – that makes you doubt yourself. I think one of the main reasons people are so hurt by being cheated on Read More

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