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Attachment Styles Explained: How Your Childhood Impacts Your Adult Relationships

Guest post by Cameron Staudacher, Presented by BetterHelp.   Did you know scientists believe how you bond with parents or caregivers as a child influences how you form interpersonal attachments as an adult? Attachment theory asserts that the manner in which you were raised and how close you were to the people raising you might be among the most significant factors Read More

My husband stopped initiating after rejection

I was looking at my website stats and noticed that this search term kept bringing people to my website (frustrated wives and girlfriends I’m assuming): “husband stopped initiating after rejection” This leads them to a popular post I wrote many years ago entitled “Why your boyfriend doesn’t initiate sex”. While I still believe this article covers the issue of Nice Read More

How to deal with Retroactive Jealousy as a Nice Guy

Retroactive Jealousy (RJ) has become a well-known term recently, as more people become aware of the fact that their painful and obsessive jealousy about their partner’s sexual and romantic history is something beyond regular envy. Retroactive Jealousy is so debilitating and painful that it qualifies as a mental illness on it’s own, very similar to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). In this Read More

Feeling jealous and insecure in a relationship?

I’ve already gone into depth about retroactive jealousy here, so check out that podcast for more. In this post, I’ll be exploring jealousy at a more general level, and trying to find a solution to this relationship-poisoning sensation. Definitions We often use the word “jealous” to describe a sense in a relationship that your partner is at risk of cheating Read More

It’s not too late to take your friendships deeper

A few years ago, a really good friend of mine was going through a divorce. I’d been friends with him for 20 plus years, but we rarely talked about intimate stuff like that. Our friendship was mostly about joking and carrying on. For men especially, this is common. You will have the same friends you had in childhood, and yet Read More

How to break the cycle of codependency in a long-term relationship

co-dependency /ˌkəʊdɪˈpɛnd(ə)nsi/ noun excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction. In my work as a coach with Nice Guys and people pleasers, the concept of co-dependency commonly comes up.  While I’m not a specialist on this specific issue, I do want to share some practical guidance for Read More

Introducing the Green Pill approach to dating and relationships

I’ve got a new podcast episode coming out soon about what I’m going to call the “Green Pill” approach to dating and relationships (as opposed to red pill or blue pill ideologies). I’d like to give you a quick introductory summary to the Green Pill approach (I’ve named it that because green seems the right colour to signify integrity, growth, Read More

How to help your Nice Guy husband be more masculine

A surprisingly large number of my coaching clients are men who have been referred to me by their wives. I’ve come to understand that a common relationship dynamic is that the woman gets frustrated with the unchanging nature of their connection with a Nice Guy / people pleaser type, and is the first to start researching possible solutions. Such is Read More

Which is better: being independent or relying on others?

A dilemma I often see, and have been in many times myself, is being caught between not wanting to be overly reliant on people – where they can let us down and ruin our lives – but at the same time realizing that being completely independent and not working with anyone is severely limited. There’s an old African proverb: “If Read More

Prevent cheating in your relationship with this simple pattern breaker

From what I’ve seen in my work with helping couples sort through messy relationships, when people cheat there’s a preparation pattern they first go through, especially the first time they cheat. In much the same manner as criminal offenders building up to committing a crime, they first have to justify it to themselves. Believe it or not, when people harm Read More

[Short] How women can support their Nice Guy partner

This one’s for all the partners of Nice Guys and people pleasers. A common way that new coaching clients come to me is the partner of a Nice Guy contacts me after seeing my videos etc. and realising the truth about their man. They want to help him, and they’re afraid of how much Nice Guy Syndrome has already damaged Read More

Day 3: The Power of Active Listening

I’ve been getting some great feedback on the Building Rapport course this week. Today it’s only $39.99! Tomorrow morning, the price will go up another $10. One lecture that I was surprised to discover was so popular was this one here, check it out. The Power of Active Listening: Strategies for Effective Communication In this video, we’re going to talk Read More

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