Full transcript The following clip that you’re about to watch is an excerpt from my upcoming course: Healthy boundaries in friendships, dating, and relationships. If you enjoy that clip, have a look in the description for information on how to find the rest of the course. In this video, we’re going to talk about the difference between confrontation and conflict, Read More

A challenging thing to consider is the difference between being right and being effective. Being right is that state where you feel that you hold the moral high ground, that your view of the world is the view of the world, and you’ll cling to it, you’ll even die for it if you need to. You’ll know you’re here when Read More

Do you absolutely hate getting compliments? There might be a surprising reason for this. Today’s message is especially for people who hate compliments, and also reject other positive feedback, ignore their strengths, undermine their achievements, focus on negative feedback, and ruminate on their failures. This is for you if you often talk to yourself negatively and imagine that people are Read More

Dating sucks! It seems to be agreed around the world that the modern dating scene is the worst it’s ever been in recorded history. This belief is backed up by escalating divorce rates, the increase in adults who identify as “single”, and decreasing birth rates. There’s clearly a rise in pessimism about dating and relationships, and a growing dread that Read More

Check out the full Building Rapport: Communication Skills to Surpass Small Talk course Full Transcript: This video is an excerpt from my course on building rapport, going beyond small talk for greater communication skills. If you like what you see in the video, you want to see the whole video and the rest of the course, check out the link Read More

One of the most difficult psychological traps to avoid is what I call The Hole. You might think of it as the self-pity party: you’re getting down a bit, maybe you’ve had some bad luck or maybe you’re in a bad mood (usually a combination of both) and it seems like it’s just getting worse and worse. And it’s very Read More

In confidence coaching sessions, we often talk about the difference between making it happen and letting it happen. This is at the centre of the difference between acting needy and acting with integrity. If you think of things in terms of cause and effect – e.g. I’m going to go and have a conversation with someone, so I am the Read More

You must kill the boy so that the man may emerge. There’s a problem I often see, where people are trying to develop themselves and live with more integrity and be more confident, yet they still want to keep all the old stuff from their former life. Things like their old job and long term friendships and hobbies from childhood. Read More

There’s a lot of different types of Nice Guys, and there’s a certain type that come to me for confidence and integrity work in their middle-age, late 30s, 40s, sometimes 50s. These are a particularly unfortunate type of Nice Guy. The reason they come to me later in life is because being nice has actually kind of worked well enough Read More

A lot of people consider themselves to be “lazy” in general, or they’ll call themselves lazy when they procrastinate on an important task. Yet when was the last time you asked yourself, “What does ‘lazy’ mean?” When you call yourself lazy, you imply that you have some sort of permanent character defect, like this is a personality problem that can’t Read More

One of the Brojo crew mentioned to me that he’s learning about this thing called “green flags”, which refers to signs that narcissists use to identify an easy victim. This makes it difficult for him to understand the difference between being radically honest and oversharing. I guess one of the green flags involves putting yourself in a vulnerable position by Read More

One of the key things all nice guys and people pleasers need to learn is the difference between supporting and fixing. What people pleasers usually do is fixing. It looks like we’re trying to help and give advice and support the person, but what we’re really trying to do is control them to behave in a way that we feel Read More