What most people miss is this: If you don’t have access to anger, then fear completely rules you. If you can’t express anger, fear takes the driver’s seat. And what happens next is…you build up frustration — missed opportunities pile up: God, I should’ve asked her out.” “I should’ve told my boss to go fuck himself.” “I should’ve done this, Read More

I’ve seen people in recovery do this—say, “I am an addict.” It’s like, all right mate, you don’t need to boast about it. You know what I mean? Fair enough that you accept yourself as you are, but also…you kind of sound like you’re bragging at this point. I see this all the time with neurodivergent people: They come up Read More

People pleasers suffer in ways that they don’t even really realize. There’s the chronic anxiety. You can have anxiety that’s so constant, you don’t even know you have anxiety. That’s what it was like for me—I only realized I had it when it went away. Constant overthinking, worrying about the future, perfectionism—all these signs that you’re just constantly hypervigilant and Read More

I am quite blunt and somewhat ruthless in my content sometimes, because I really don’t believe that nice guys need compassion and a pat on the back and a hug. I think they need a slap in the face. That brutal wake-up call. That slap in the face that says: you’re wasting your life. Stop. Reassess. Change your behaviour. The Read More

In New Zealand men often use the slang phrase “She’ll be right” to dismiss any negative feelings they’re having. As someone who has been face-to-face with a lot of suicidal people throughout most of my career, I’ve seen a dark truth about New Zealand come through. For me, it all began when the most popular guy in my high school Read More

When we’re not on the piss—drinking large amounts of alcohol—we’re smoking, we’re snorting, and we’re injecting. This is the behaviour of a society that does not know how to process emotion, trauma, and pain. I believe that these forces, combined with the ones that the experts recognize, create this pressure where two devastating things happen. One is that you become Read More

Up until about the age of twenty-five or so, I was unconsciously suffering from Nice Guy Syndrome. That is, I didn’t know I had something wrong. I was the nicest guy. I was funny. I was entertaining. I was super helpful. I was always compassionate and supportive. I never had a bad word to say to you, I never confronted Read More

New Zealand men need to become more honest. We need to stop worrying that all those idiots at the workplace are going to judge us and start showing what we really think and feel, and be role models for those who are not yet courageous enough to do it. That’s one of the reasons we created Brojo. It’s a community Read More

If you struggle with overthinking, this might help—a mindfulness full-body scan. Start by focusing on your breathing. You don’t need to do anything particularly special with your breathing—just notice it going in and out of your nose or the rise and fall of your chest. Probably with your eyes closed is best. You’re scanning your whole body, one centimetre at Read More

The Old Stereotype It’s basically a well-established “fact” that women are more emotional than men. This seems to mean that women feel emotions more frequently and more intensely, and that their behaviour is more dictated by emotion than men. Men are supposedly more “rational”, having less emotions and feeling them less intensely than women, and making decisions based on logic Read More

Breaking Free from Negative Thinking: Practical Techniques to Reclaim Your Mind Negative thinking can feel like an endless loop—one intrusive thought after another, pulling you into a mental spiral that seems impossible to escape. And let’s be honest, most of us want a quick fix. We wish there was some magic button that could instantly clear our minds and eliminate Read More

How to Sit with Emotional Pain (Without Running from It) The Real Source of Emotional Suffering We’ve all been there—overwhelmed by sadness, anxiety, or frustration, looking for any escape. Some people use substances, others bury themselves in work. But what if we stopped running from emotional pain and instead learned how to sit with it? To start, let’s break down Read More