How I burned out: A cautionary tale

Join The Integrity Army for free confidence and integrity coaching here As I write this, I am currently experiencing my second major burn out. The first happened about 12 years ago when I was working in Department of Corrections. At the time, it was attributed to “vicarious trauma” — the suffering that comes from working with criminal offenders and Read More

10 steps to self compassion: A practical guide for peace

Join my free group coaching program for confidence and integrity here: I just finished a coaching session with a client whose biggest barrier to enjoyment of life is the cruelty with which he judges himself. Even when he’s doing everything right and living with integrity, he still somehow finds a way to make himself feel like a loser who Read More

Why Getting Offended is Dangerous

Join The Integrity Army for free confidence and integrity coaching here There’s a weird reason people get coaching from someone like me: it’s a place where they can finally get the NEGATIVE feedback they’ve needed all along. When I was a people-pleasing Nice Guy, my biggest issue — though I didn’t know it at the time — was that Read More

[Short] A quote that will help you stop caring what other people think of you

Join my free group coaching program for confidence and integrity here: Denzel Washington, he once said: “You’ll never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you. You’ll always be criticized by someone doing less. Remember that.” Which I think is fucking brilliant. One thing, you notice, you know, you care so much about what other people think, Read More

[Short] The 3 Warning Signs of Being Stuck in Self Pity

Join my free group coaching program for confidence and integrity here: There’s a dangerous state we all get into called wallowing in self pity. And it’s where we deliberately for some baffling reason try to make life hurt. There’s three warning signs you want to watch out for. First off is searching for why. Which means if you’ve had Read More

[Short] What you’d see if you could read people’s minds

Email me for a complimentary trial coaching session Comment below with your opinions on this! There’s a fiction series, called the Brilliance Trilogy that I highly recommend, and there’s a character or characters in this book that have a gift called reading, which is, they can see through facial expressions, and so on, what’s really going on in your Read More

Choosing what to care about

I recently saw a heartbreaking video on TikTok. It was a little boy of about 3 or 4 years of age, lying in a hospital bed with tubes in his nose. His father was beside him, and he was talking to the camera which must have been held by this mother. The video was titled, “Boy’s final words to his Read More

12 Practical Tips for Overcoming Social Anxiety to Build Confidence

1. Use the 3X model My 3X Model is a simple roadmap to conversations to ensure they’re real, brave, honest, connecting and respectful. You can use this model with friends, lovers, family, coworkers and strangers alike. I recommend starting with safe people and then once you’ve got the hang of it, branch out. Step one: Explore. Use curiosity to think Read More

The Blueprint for Bravery

Podcast version: BROJO – Confidence and Integrity for Men! · [#126] Courage: The Blueprint For Bravery Wanna escape Nice Guy Syndrome and become a confident authentic man? Take my social confidence quiz now to receive free advanced content:   WHAT IS BRAVERY – webinar notes: Value of courage Acting in a way that increases fear sensations Fear is basically Read More


If you enjoyed this, grab yourself a free copy of my new ebook Top 10 Social Connection Tips here – Comment below with your opinions on this! Defusion is a technique derived from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Rather than fighting against negative thoughts or trying to force yourself into positive thinking, you can learn to work with your mind. Read More

[Short] Can worrying what others think be cured??

Nothing has been more satisfying in my own self-development journey than discovering that caring what other people think of me is something that I can actually cure almost completely. It used to be ALL that I cared about. Negative feedback would ruin my day. Rejection would ruin my week. Finding out I was hated would ruin my month. Now I Read More

[Short] Why punishing yourself for failures is stupid and pointless

Nice Guy Quiz: Just fill out this quick 2 min survey about your social confidence, and I’ll send you access to my Nice Guy Recovery course (worth $200) immediately!     Almost globally we believe it’s a good idea to punish people for bad behavior and we do it to ourselves, not just others. So when we behave badly, we feel compelled Read More


3X Your Confidence for better relationships and high self-worth.