Your biggest fear to overcome

Daily Dose of Integrity

I think one of the best ways to bring more meaning into your life is to identify and overcome your fears.

If you’re feeling unsure about the direction of your life or it’s purpose, try listing all your fears and use exposure therapy techniques to slowly face and overcome them.

At least it won’t be boring.

And perhaps one of the biggest fears of all is the fear that your identity isn’t real, that you aren’t real, that what you think you are isn’t accurate. There’s something horrifying about considering the idea of I’m not who I think I am.

For me, this was being a Nice Guy.

I was in my mid-20s when I first asked myself, Am I really a nice guy? Who am I when I’m not being a nice guy? What’s underneath this persona?

It was terrifying. These are terrifying questions to answer. I didn’t want to know the answer, but I knew that I had to find it because there was something fake about my life and the way I engaged with people.

It turned out to be the best question I could ask, because it prompted me to undo so much trauma and fear and shame, eventually leading to the freedom of not being constrained by the need for an identity of any kind.

If you want to overcome your greatest fear, I suggest you first try to figure out what you think your identity is. It could be something simple, like I’m an accountant, or I’m a good father, or I’m a nice person.

Then ask yourself this brutal question: Who am I if I’m not that identity?

And try to answer it.

To let go of your identity and become confident instead, check out my Shamelessness course

One Response

  1. I recommend utilizing therapy or coaching if you have massive anxiety about facing your fears (i.e. you’re not excited about doing it)

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