Most of us are painfully unaware of who we really are.
If we were to go out and take a survey of all the people who observe us—and get the honest truth about what they see—it probably wouldn’t match what we think we are.
And yet, those other people—their combined, truthful observations—would almost certainly be more accurate than our own self-perception.
So, to get past other people’s claimed identities—and your own beliefs about who you are—you need to get good at observing behavior patterns dispassionately.
Track the results, not the hypothesis.
Right?
Rather than clinging to what you think you are, have a look at what you actually fucking do.
And with other people—it’s the same.
If someone says they’re a certain way, watch what they actually do over a long period of time.
Does it match what they say?
Because one thing you’ll notice—if it does match, and this is something you’ll see in people who actually have integrity (that is, real self-awareness and behavior that aligns with their inner values)—those people don’t need to tell you about it.
They don’t need to claim anything.
They don’t feel the urge to prove themselves, because their behavior so clearly aligns with who they are on the inside.
So just keep in mind:
You are what you repeatedly do.
That’s what needs to be measured.
To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:
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If someone watched your behavior for 30 days and described who you are—would it match the story you tell yourself about who you are?