There are two painful social truths that have absolutely transformed my life.
The first is, the opposite of crazy is still crazy.
And the second is, you attract what you are.
When I was deep in my Nice Guy Syndrome, I felt like I was always the stable one in my relationships. I was the one who wasn’t emotional, I solved problems, and I didn’t care too much about anything.
And the women I had in my life were what I’d call “crazy”. They were emotionally unstable. They had lots of problems and drama, their life was disordered, and so on, and so I felt superior to them. I was their “rock”.
But the opposite of crazy is still crazy.
I was my own kind of crazy. I was a Nice Guy fixer. I was obsessed with approval. I had an Avoidant Attachment Style to keep people at a distance. I suppressed emotions, avoided conflict, and compromised myself every day to prevent rejection.
I was just a different version of crazy.
And I was attracting what I was. Sure, I wasn’t attracting the exact same type of crazy, but I was attracting crazy nonetheless. I certainly wasn’t surrounded by healthy confident people.
If you find yourself surrounded by crazy, you need to look at them as a mirror because they reflect who you are right now.
For more on this topic, check out my longer article: “Why do girls like bad boys instead of nice guys?”