Needing to rely on someone else — having your success in the hands of somebody else — that feels very suffocating and very threatening.

One of the main ways many deal with that is by avoiding the sharing of deep emotions.

We put on a show — a kind of mask or performance — that’s designed to make you like us, designed to give you pleasure.

However, you don’t actually get to see behind it.

There’s no real investment on the part of an avoidant — so you’re not getting any of the good information that might allow you to hurt me or use something against me.

You’ll notice this in the way you feel repulsed by compliments — both giving and receiving them — because they’re a form of intimacy.

So, you’re always pushing back on anyone trying to build a real connection with you.

You’re proudly independent.

You like to do everything on your own.

You believe a job’s only done right if you do it yourself.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: