Do you absolutely hate getting compliments? There might be a surprising reason for this.
Today’s message is especially for people who hate compliments, and also reject other positive feedback, ignore their strengths, undermine their achievements, focus on negative feedback, and ruminate on their failures.
This is for you if you often talk to yourself negatively and imagine that people are thinking bad things about you.
You might have what I call The Loser Identity.
The loser identity is a traumatic identity that we form, usually in childhood, in reaction suffering a lot, from consistently having things not go our way and feeling out of control.
We eventually come to decide, Hey, I’m the loser! I’m the person who does not succeed. I’m the person who always has a hard time and suffers more than others.
We actually become attached to this identity, because it explains things and makes sense of the unfairness of the world. And we’d rather make sense of the world than challenge who we think we are.
So eventually, we get to the point where we actually fight to keep that identity, by rejecting things like positive feedback and praise and acknowledgement of our achievements. We reject evidence that we’re actually doing pretty well.
If this rings true for you, you’ve got a serious confidence problem. You’re trying to stay a loser simply because it’s comforting and familiar, but not because there’s any truth in it.
Because if you’re indeed a loser, how are you doing well enough to be reading this newsletter (i.e. you can read, you have internet and power, your brain is functioning well enough to comprehend what I’m saying etc.)?
How do you explain all these abilities, strengths and advantages you undeniably possess?
How are you even still alive???
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