This is where I might get a little controversial: I’m quite against talk therapy, mostly because the scientific consensus is that it’s ineffective.

You sit around talking about your illness non-stop with absolutely no effort made to correct the behaviour that’s harming you, justifying that behaviour, saying, “I can’t help it because I have X diagnosis.”

That’s just self-serving, egotistical, and narcissistic.

It’s just putting money in the therapist’s pocket without you actually improving your quality of life.

I see this all the time with, let’s say, guys who are really terrible in relationships.

They go get all this therapy, and they’re still terrible in relationships, but now they do it with therapy jargon.

They’ll now say, “Well, that’s my avoidant attachment, and that’s because my father was dismissive and emotionally neglectful.”

It’s like, yeah, but you’re still being a dick in your relationship. So, what use is the label if you don’t change your behaviour?

How do people stop defining themselves and everything they do by “nice guy syndrome”?

You just stop.

Instead, in my opinion, you start to reference your core values.

I mean, I literally know mine off the top of my head—there are six of them—and I look at my behavior and compare it to them and go, “Does it line up or not?”

All I need to know, the only labels or words I need to know, are the ones that describe my core values—the guy I want to be.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: