Why Nice Guys suck at break ups

Many of my nice guy clients have had horrible breakups and divorces.

One of the main reasons for this is not only that they are terrible in relationships due to nice guy syndrome, but they’re also terrible ending things.

Where they really struggle is the inability to negotiate for their own best interests.

See what a nice guy doesn’t realize is that he’s driven by a subconscious urge to keep everything smooth and comfortable and free from difficult emotions. So when it comes to something like settling a divorce, he’s always going to grab at the instant win, trying to get this thing solved as quickly as possible, often leading him to make lots of concessions that he’s going to regret later.

If you want to become a powerful person, you need to know how to negotiate, which really means you need to know how to endure a conflict going on indefinitely without a smooth conclusion.

Because that’s how real negotiations go. Their are counter-offers, rejections, refusals, and uncooperative behaviours. People tend to get difficult and abusive when you end things with them.

But if you can’t hold strong and endure this conflict, you will pay a much higher price in the longer term (often literally)!

2 Responses

  1. An exercise to help with this: write down the difference between what you want selfishly and what the Nice Guy in you wants to do

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