It’s become very difficult for a man to know what’s safe around sex, because there’s no one to teach us.

You’re not born knowing what safety is. I don’t know why that’s expected of men. And yet, men are now supposed to know the difference between flirting and harassment as well as the difference between foreplay and assault.

And yet, no one is teaching them what the difference is. Our fathers are too scared of it, and also too confused by it to teach us. So, who’s there to teach us—other than media saying “Men are rapists, men are rapists”.

Now you’ve got these men who are scared to be sexual. They’re scared to be a man. They think that being sexual and initiating sex is going to come with consequences.

I remember that from my own life: I’d be in bed with a woman, and now looking back I can see she was clearly keen for something, but I was like, “No, she has to do the first move otherwise I’m a rapist”. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t cross the line into sexual behaviour, because I was just so scared of being wrong about it.

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