If someone says they love you and then they cheat on you, for example—well, I can tell you right now, when they were cheating on you, they weren’t loving you. All right?

’Cause cheating is not loving behavior.

If you’re dating someone and they say that they love you, and yet they string you along, insult you, cut you off from your friends, or whatever—they don’t love you.

One thing I’ve noticed is that exceptional behavior is really worth paying attention to.

If somebody does something that’s really harmful and says, “Oh, this isn’t like me, I wouldn’t usually do this,” I’d pay real close attention.

Because a person who’s truly loving towards you would never do it—not even once.

Yes, people can slip, make minor errors, and stray a little outside the range of loving behavior into slightly harmful behavior. But outright harmful behavior?

That’s nowhere close to love.

They might have feelings they associate with love, and they might attach those feelings to you, but if they treat you badly, that’s all you need to pay attention to.

On the flip side, there are people who don’t say the words you want to hear.

Maybe they’re gruff, rude, or blunt.

However, if you watch the way they treat you, you might realize: “I could rely on this person if I had to call them at 3 AM stranded on the highway.” Or, “This person has never swindled me, they’ve never lied to me.”

And then you think, “Actually, this person might not seem warm, but they’re very loving towards me.” And that’s what you need to pay attention to. That’s the kind of person you need to have in your life.

You’ve gotta stop being conned by words.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: