Why blaming yourself doesn’t work

Do you ever catch yourself saying things like this?

“I’m just so lazy”

“I’m bad with money”

“I’ve just got no discipline”

“I’m terrible at remembering names”

“My depression held me back”

It’s a little trick we play, where we make it look like we’re taking responsibility for ourselves when actually we’re still blaming someone else. It’s just that the someone else is yourself!

You’ll use language where it makes it sound like you’re the victim of yourself, like you’ve been controlled and coerced and enslaved by this other entity that is somehow also You.

When you say “Oh, I’m so lazy that I couldn’t get to the gym”, you’re making it sound like your laziness comes from some other person who holds you back, and you’re blaming them for your lack of success.

When you realize it’s just you in there, and it’s always you making all of these decisions, you’ll see the difference between blame and responsibility.

A responsible person simply says, “I have no excuse for skipping the gym, I need to come up with a system to keep me disciplined”.

Remember, while blame points the finger, responsibility takes ownership of the solution.

For more on this topic, check out my longer video “Debunking the Arguments Against Radical Honesty”:

One Response

  1. Asking “So what am I going to do about it?” after you catch yourself self-blaming is a great way to instantly correct your mindset

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