While I believe frame control is really important, I don’t believe frame control is the same thing as controlling other people.

It doesn’t mean that others aren’t allowed to do what they want or have their own ideas, and it doesn’t mean you have to be so rigid that nobody can ever convince you of a better idea.

Rigidity is not confidence.

Confidence is psychological flexibility—the ability to let go of a belief that no longer serves you, the ability to compromise on a behavior that isn’t in your long-term interest, and the ability to go for the better option.

That doesn’t mean “my way or the highway” at all times.

In fact, rigidity leaves you open to missing out on the best opportunities.

When I think of frame control, what I mean is this: I will not allow an unhealthy, abusive, or manipulative person to take me off track.

That doesn’t mean I always get my way.

It means I have a value system I am loyal to and committed to, and I will not let the approval or validation of someone else become a more tempting option than staying true to that system.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: