The Social Cost of True Success

When you look out at the world, and look carefully at that, you should notice something that’s obvious and yet easily overlooked:

Most people are NOT doing well.

I don’t mean they’re not wealthy, famous or powerful. Indeed, it’s those metrics that make up much of the problem.

What I mean is they are suffering psychologically. They are incapable of true enjoyment of life. When you really look, you’ll see that it’s incredibly RARE to witness someone who’s actually satisfied with who they are.

The evidence that most people aren’t doing well

Now, what I’m about to point out may trigger off some defensiveness. I don’t mean to offend. As far as I’m concerned, I’m merely pointing out facts.

If we look at the following list as people who are yet to find a way to enjoy life and be content with who they are, we’ll see what I mean when I say most people are doing poorly.

Alcohol and drug use. In many countries around the world, nearly every adult drinks alcohol, and many use other drugs. These are mostly poisonous substances that you have to acclimate yourself to, i.e. your body tries to reject them at first, like how you reacted to that first ever taste of beer or cigarettes. Using substances shows an inability to face life on life’s terms. It shows escapism; using a crutch to deal with things like social anxiety, boredom, and lack of meaning in life. Simply put, confident people have no need to use substances.

Obesity. How someone treats their body is indicative of the health of their mind and their levels of self-respect. Being noticeably overweight is almost always a sign of poor eating habits, and often also a sign of a sedentary lifestyle. Again, someone doing well psychologically will generally be doing well physically, as food will only be a fuel to them, not a drug.

Repeated relationship issues. Whether it’s within a long-term relationship, or demonstrated by an inability to maintain a relationship long-term, someone with ongoing relationship struggles shows signs of low self-confidence and an unhealthy attachment style. A persons’ relationships are a good measure of their psychology as well – confident people are surrounded by other healthy people, and the relationships are easily maintained.

Bragging or complaining on social media (or in person). This is approval and validation seeking. Only a person who’s unsure if they’re living correctly will seek to get likes from someone else about what they’re doing.

Stress and burnout. Stress is the sensation of wanting to be somewhere else… or someone else. It’s a sign that you’re consistently dissatisfied with the present moment, always seeking to change your situation because you’re unable to accept it or make peace with it. Burnout comes from constantly trying to control things you cannot or should not control.

Compulsive consumerism. Minimalism is the natural long-term outcome for a confident person. The more satisfied a person is within themselves, the less they need to fill the void with purchases of stuff.

Now imagine for a moment that anyone who ticks even ONE of these boxes is automatically classified as not doing well. In the same way anyone with a broken foot or stomach cancer would automatically be put into the unwell category regarding physical health, people with these psychological illnesses are at the very least not doing especially well in terms of their mental health.

I say all of this to make a simple point: you’ll know you’re succeeding at life when you’re NOT like everyone else!

Being unusual is a sign of success… but prepare for resistance

You say no to a drink when everyone else says yes. You eat healthy and exercise regularly while everyone binges on fast food. You actually like your partner and get along well, and your kids respect and love you and parenting them is enjoyable. You often have free time and use it to do fun and enjoyable things. You’re managing your finances to ensure you’re never in trouble. You don’t want other peoples’ opinions about the way you live.

This will feel strange at first. You might experience survivor guilt of some kind. You’ll worry that you’re doing something wrong because you’re often the odd one out in a group. People will get jealous and actively discourage you, even when they were previously supportive.

You must understand: just because normal people are suffering and behaving in certain ways doesn’t mean they’re living RIGHT.

The other 95%

I’ve been studying psychology for 20 years, and I can say the thing I’m most certain about is most people live way below human potential for meaning and enjoyment of life. And when I say “most” people, my most conservative estimate would be 95% !!!

So if you’re in the 5% of people who actually have their shit together, don’t be discouraged by the lack of peers. Don’t let your unusualness cause you to doubt that you’re doing things right.

Other people are chasing things they can’t control, to satisfy insecurities that can’t be tamed. They are trapped in psychological programming and conditioning that causes nothing but suffering. They chase money and popularity and comfort and control because they don’t yet realise those pursuits ALWAYS lead to misery in the longer term.

And when they see you doing things differently, many of them will get defensive. They’ll try to bring you down and shame you. Not because you’re wrong, but because you highlight their own suffering. 

Pity them if you must, but do not tolerate their interference. If you’ve found a way to enjoy life and be healthy and confident, then stick to it with fierce loyalty. You’re one of the few humans who will actually have a good life!

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🚀 I’ve helped virgins become fathers.
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Spots are limited, and I only work with people serious about change. If you’re ready to finally take control of your confidence and social success, apply today.

Looking forward to speaking with you,
Dan Munro

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“I actually believe women can be attracted to me now and I no longer see women as on a pedestal. I had created excuses in many areas of my life to keep me from changing to the person that is more successful. I am a happier person now. I actually feel confident that I will be able to achieve my most important goals whereas before I was almost resigned to never being in a relationship and had accepted that maybe it’s just not for me.”

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Simon C., Insurance Analyst

“I was having a problem with self-confidence which was ruining my life. I felt confused, desperate, and was losing hope. Dan helped me rediscover my core values and I have started to build a life I truly want to live. I found the courage to take a risk with exploring a new career path. After a lifetime of being chronically single, I’ve connected deeply with a high-quality woman to create a real relationship for the first time in my life! I wouldn’t trade places with anyone else in the world and for the first time ever I like being me.”

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“After being coached by Dan, I started to push my comfort zones more and more. Things that were foreign/difficult to me became less so. I started building a strong social circle, filling my calendar with meaningful activities, and expressing attraction to women confidently. With Dan, I felt like I wasn’t alone in facing my problems. I had the motivation to change, and Dan helped me stay on track. I haven’t stopped making improvements in my life since.”

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Pulkit K., Dentist

“I started my journey as ‘Mr. Nice Guy’. I would find it hard to rock the boat. Trying to avoid confrontation at work was leading to frustration and low self-esteem. I used to be scared to assert myself for fear of coming across as an unpleasant person. Thanks to my work with Dan, I have practiced the simple yet difficult task of expressing myself honestly. Handling confrontation is a skill I continue to get better at. It has helped me cultivate deeper and more satisfying relationships at work, and even led to me being invited to speak internationally to other professionals.”

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