It is completely natural for you to outgrow the people you’re with.

Start being brutally honest with yourself about how healthy those people really are.

You don’t have to think of it as, “Oh, they’re a bad person trying to hurt me”—though that may be the case—but more like, The sun has set on our time together. I’m a different person now. I wouldn’t choose you now, so I have to let you go.

This applies specifically to nice guys: while they often talk about being afraid of rejection and abandonment, they’re even more afraid of doing the rejecting.

They’re even more afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, being seen as the bad person, or getting a reputation as someone selfish because they cut people out.

If that’s the only reason you’re keeping someone in your life—because you’re worried about how you’ll be seen—then that’s probably not someone you should have in your life.

So, I recommend that everyone does a fairly ruthless assessment of their social circle.

Write a list of everyone you see at least once a month. Next to each name, put “positive,” “neutral,” or “negative.”

• Positive means they improve your life.
• Neutral means you’re not sure what impact they have, if any.
• Negative means it’s worse to be around them. You’re better off without them.

Then, the confident person says: If it ain’t positive, it ain’t happening.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: