CONNECT WITH DAN

Toxic Masculinity is a Myth

Did you see the new Gillette ad?

So look, I know a lot of people have already spoken about this, but I’ve taken some time to review it. I’ve watched the Gillette ad. I’ve seen all the comments and all the controversy around it.

As a man, and as a coach who leads an organization specifically for masculinity and self-development, I just have to say something.

Gillette actually came to my school when I was a young teenager, and in an assembly they gave their Mach 3 razors away for free. Now the head is disposable, but the shaft is the part that really matters because only Mach 3 heads fit onto it.

They’re smart because guys don’t like changing things. They essentially just turned us into clients for life by giving us a free razor. I ended up spending hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars, on these little razor heads for the rest of my life.

So for me to change now is a big deal but I’m gonna do it.

I’ve got no problem with Gillette being sneaky and underhanded in their marketing. All corporations are like that. There isn’t a company in the world who isn’t looking at Gillette going, “Ah I should have done that, should have capitalized on this #me too thing!” Because corporations are just greedy entities trying to make more money – that’s all this is.

I don’t take it personally. I accept it. That’s capitalism, it’s fine.

What is toxic masculinity?

What bothers me is I’ve just fucking had enough of this term “toxic masculinity.”

This horseshit term doesn’t actually mean anything. It’s a made-up set of words – essentially slang with no scientific backing whatsoever[1] – and therefore it’s bullshit. And all it does is create fear in men which makes them weaker, less masculine, and therefore less of a contribution to the world… and I’m sick of it.

I spent seven years working in the Department of Corrections as a probation officer, a senior probation officer, a manager, a senior quality advisor, and most of that time I specialized in rehabilitating sex offenders, murderers, rapists. I worked with the people you despise the most. The ones that the rest of us men are getting lumped in with under this title of “toxic masculinity.”

I’ve studied under the top forensic psychologists in the world to learn how to rehabilitate pedophiles and rapists and murderers and wifebeaters and gang members. To stop them being violent sexual predators. Never once, in any form of research study, anything, anywhere, was being a man identified as the causal factor in their offending – women can be violent sexual predators too[2].

You want to know what the main factor in their offending is?

Shame

One of the main reasons somebody becomes a sexual predator or a murderer or a wife-beater is because of inner shame[3]. The most ironic thing about all of this is when I finally figured out how to get through to these guys – how to make big changes so they didn’t do this shit anymore – was when I discovered that they needed to work on their masculinity.

But they needed to become more masculine, not less!

They needed to work on the masculine traits of assertiveness, honesty, courage, and especially responsibility. Masculinity is either healthy or it’s not masculinity, it’s something else- it’s shame, it’s sickness, it’s mental illness.

Masculine men around the world are working hard, protecting their families, stepping in when bullies are causing shit. These more shameless men exist, they’re everywhere. They are the sheepdogs protecting us from the wolves.

We Need Masculinity

Its masculinity that protects us from the predators. There are no healthy masculine predators out there.

Masculinity is not the cause of the problem, it is the fucking cure.

I’m sick of it being shamed because every time you shame a man for being masculine, you increase his risk of sexual offending. The more ashamed a sexual offender is, the higher risk they are of reoffending[4]. So making guys ashamed of being a man is creating more victims.

Do you understand that? You fucking idiots using this term “toxic masculinity”? You’re making things worse! You’re turning guys who would never be an offender into offenders.

Now, of course men are responsible for themselves, but if you shame them into not being masculine, they drop responsibility – that’s a masculine trait. Not just for men, but for women, anyone.

When you tell people to stop being masculine they stop being honest, they stop being courageous, they stop being assertive, they stop being all the things that prevent the darkness from taking over.

I’m sick of man-haters

One of my biggest battles over the last couple of years has been losing my faith in feminism. The original feminist movement was so helpful, and now what is it? A sick thing – that’s the only thing toxic in this equation; feminism. What it’s become – mutating from the glory it used to be into the man-hating, virtue-signalling tribalism pile of shit that it is now.

There is no such thing as toxic masculinity. There are awful behaviours. There are harmful mindsets. There are fucked-up trauma responses and coping mechanisms. But masculinity is not the problem, and often it’s the remedy to these ills.

Gillette, I know you’ve got to make money, but really; at this cost? Are you cool with it, really? Your marketing team – when you go to bed at night and go, “Hey we just made heaps of men feel like shit so that my shareholder can make more money!” are you cool with that, really?

Because you embarrass me as a man.

The world is built on the shoulders of masculinity; not just men but women as well. The leaders, the ones who took responsibility for the problems that everyone else ran away from, the people who are honest in this dishonest world, the people are courageous when everyone else is being a fucking coward.

The police officers who arrest the people who could commit crimes are being masculine when they do that. The fathers who protect their daughters from predators are being masculine when they do that. Even if you assertively argue you against me you’re being masculine when you do that!

Goodbye Gillette

So I want to say, after 20 years of loyal custom, goodbye Gillette – you fucked me.

I’m now the proud owner of a Quattro razor … don’t fuck me now! No more #metoo ads!

Let men be men. Let men be masculine, and separate sexual predators as a different category, which is what they are.

To the men out there: my final word is, I’m not ashamed of you, I got your back. You want to be masculine? Be masculine. I’ll stand up for you. I’ll support you.

And for the women out there wishing their man would be more of a man, I’m working on it. Every guy I work with, I’m working on it. I’m helping him get in touch with that masculine side, so that he can provide and protect and be honest and not cheat on you and all the things that masculinity helps with.

That’s all I’ve got to say..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

JOIN THE BROJO SELF-DEVELOPMENT COMMUNITY

3X Your Confidence for better relationships and high self-worth.