A collection of this week’s most popular posts over all social media…
Why do manipulative people accuse others of manipulation?
Pay real close attention to whatever manipulative people accuse you or others of doing because that’s the most likely thing that they are actually doing. For example, if a manipulative person starts accusing their partner of cheating, there’s a good chance that they are actually the ones who are cheating. This is for three reasons. Firstly, the thing they think of is whatever’s closest to their mind. So they’re going to think of what they themselves are doing more than they think of anything else. Secondly, they think other people think like them. So they’re going to assume that you would do whatever they would do in that situation. And thirdly, if they want to throw someone off the scent, it going to accuse them of doing what they’re doing to make it look like they’re not doing it.
Before you try to fit in with everyone else… WATCH THIS!
Trying to fit in is a mistake. Fitting in is about taking the path of least resistance socially, and being dishonest in order to be comfortable to be around. There is no reason to believe that that is a satisfying and enjoyable life. Now, most people are doing it, but when you delve deeply into the psychology of most people, you’ll find that they’re miserable, they’re anxious, they’re depressed, they’re apathetic about life. If you really want to enjoy your life, you’re going to have to risk standing out by being genuine. It doesn’t mean you try to stand out, and some people are still going to love you, but you have to let some people not like you as well.
How to be more honest without being judgmental
A lot of people want to be more honest, but they’re concerned that if they try to be, they’re just going to end up being harsh and judgmental and cruel to other people. And this is because they’ve confused honesty for being judgmental. The best way to be honest, to also ensure that you don’t go around wrecking your relationship, is to make sure you only ever speak about yourself. I can’t tell you what you are because I don’t know what you are. Those are just judgments. They’re just fictions in my head. All I can speak about is what I believe, what I think, and what I feel. So if you start focusing on making those “I” statements instead of “you” statements, you don’t have to worry about being judgmental and you’re more likely to be honest.
Stop making the mistake of competing with your partner!
One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is getting into a competition about who’s doing more work, it’s a quantitative competition. Who’s got the bigger list? Who’s taking more time to do the actions? And of course nobody ever wins this competition because even if you’re exactly 50/50 one of the people is going to be feeling it worse than the other person. A much more accurate measure is to ask yourself, “How can we both get to a place where we enjoy life equally?” Now that might actually mean that somebody does more tasks on the list because they can handle it better right now and maybe later on that needs to shift because the other person is doing better and so on. But if you get into a competition about who’s doing more, you both lose!
The worst thing a parent can say to their child
The other day I was at a shopping mall and I saw an example of one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make. In fact, anyone can make with anybody. The parent was frustrated with their child, for some reason. And by my account, the child seemed to be just fine, he was just playing. She grabbed him by the shoulders. And she said, “This is why I’m always shouting. This is why me and your father are always fighting. It’s because of you!” There is almost nothing more damaging to a child’s confidence you can say, than something like that. When you say, “You are the reason that I suffer.” You must always – whether you’re a parent or anything else – take responsibility for your own emotions. Nobody makes you feel anything.
How to use video content to build your coaching business
After nearly 10 years of coaching, the numbers don’t lie: most of my clients either come directly from my YouTube audience, or are people who have binged on my video content before getting in touch.
While this won’t be the case for all coaches, I prefer creating video content as my primary way of producing value, so having my clients also come to me from videos is perfect for me.
If you also like creating videos — e.g. you’re extroverted, enjoy editing, and find public speaking relatively easy and fun — then let’s talk about how to use this talent to build your coaching business authentically.
Dan’s Top Resources
Dan has 3 bestselling non-fiction books available in both written and audio form:
- The Naked Truth, his latest release, shows you how radical honesty builds self-confidence and relationships
- Nothing to Lose explores how to build confidence from the inside by correcting the programming in your brain
- The Legendary Life is a very practical, action-focused guide on how to plan and execute a life plan that brings you your ideal lifestyle
Dan continues to put out high quality online self-paced courses through the Udemy platform
- Nice Guy Recovery: how to transform from a people pleaser into a confident beast.
- Shamelessness: how to relieve yourself of the “not good enough” story
- Powerful Honesty: takes you through step-by-step development of your communication skills to be more charismatic and powerful in your honesty
- The 3X Confidence and Authenticity Masterclass program: use the famous 3X Model to build confidence in all areas of life
- Financial Freedom for Beginners: includes everything from budgeting, to getting a raise, to investing in the stock market, to starting a side-business and more
- Overcoming Your Fear of Rejection… Permanently!: covers the psychology of “rejection” and what actions to take to make yourself immune to the fear of it