Which of these painful things happened to you this month:
- Interrupted like what you were saying wasn’t important?
- Mocked, teased or bullied for having normal human reactions?
- Insulted and criticized like a child by someone who’s nicer to everyone else?
- Had your ideas and suggestions dismissed as if they were stupid?
- Ignored and treated like you didn’t even exist?
If things like this happen to you, then I’m sorry to say it is NOT bad luck.
Mean and malicious people do exist, but they don’t pick their victims at random. They are attracted to specific people.
I used to rehabilitate violent offenders and other bullies – they told me how they choose their targets.
It comes down to a simple trait: how much you respect YOURSELF.
There are some major challenges to respecting yourself.
- Being raised to think you’re not good enough, and not knowing what it’s like to receive respect just for existing
- Believing that people will treat you well just because you’re a good person
- Having no real practical idea of what “respecting yourself” even means
Let me help you with that right now: watch this video to fully understand what self-respect means and how to create it, so you no longer provoke the worst treatment from others:
Building Self-Respect: The Foundation of Healthy Boundaries
Because all the boundary-setting exercises in the world won’t make up for you not seeing yourself as worthy.
In fact, once you fully respect yourself, you’ll hardly ever need to set boundaries. The frame with which you carry yourself will do all the work – in the same way a trained martial artist somehow never gets challenged to a fight.
Once you understand what it means to respect yourself, then you can learn how to act like it.
Dan