The old version of you, which you’re now starting to overcome, was trapped in a miserable universe.
He saw the world as a black and white set of social rules, where it was his duty to make everyone else feel good, even if it made him feel horrible.
He had to sacrifice his dreams, desires and goals if they ever risked making someone upset or disappointed, or increased the chance of being disliked.
The Confident Man lives in a completely different world, with entirely different principles, which I explain here:
The Key Principles to Nice Guy Recovery and Social Confidence Building
He says No without guilt, and stays calm during confrontations because he knows it isn’t a battle.
He makes quicker decisions because he isn’t burdened with trying to predict everyone else’s reactions.
He’s completely honest with his loved ones, because he would rather disappoint someone else than compromise his integrity.
And his world is MUCH more enjoyable to live in.
Like Andy, one of my favourite clients.
When he first came to me, he was stuck in continuous catastrophizing about what other people thought of him. Despite his success – great career, loving family, super healthy body – he was constantly worrying about being judged and disliked.
Over time, we injected these new principles into his life. He slowly stopped caring if other people were upset with him, and realised that his own integrity mattered more. He saw that what other people think of him was just information about THEM, not him.
And his confidence grew, and grew, and grew, until he got to the point where he really can’t understand what he was so worried about in the first place.
You can’t just install this new operating system overnight. You will need to change your behaviour slowly and courageously over time.
If you’re looking for a smooth quick fix… well, THAT is your problem! No confident person expects positive change to be easy or effortless. Only a Nice Guy dreams of that.
You have to EARN confidence.
You have to keep applying the mindset principles in that video above, over and over, until it clicks and becomes your new universe.
In a couple of days, I’ll send you through the complete step by step blueprint to make the same transition Andy made – from people-pleasing Nice Guy into an assertive, confident and self-respecting man of integrity.