There’s something I want you to pay attention to.
I want you to notice that when someone is not being completely real with you, you’re aware of it.
Let’s say you ask them if they want to come to your party, and they say, “Oh, I’m a bit busy that night, I might have some stuff on”, and you just got that kind of gut sense that they’re bullshitting you.
And you get it, you understand they don’t want to just tell you “I don’t want to” or whatever it is they don’t want to tell you.
But the point is, you know. You know they’re bullshitting. And you feel disrespected by it, like they’re judging you as too weak or insecure to be honest with. It makes you wonder how secure your relationship with them really is.
So take a moment to just realize how often you know, how often you can feel the difference between someone being real and someone being fake with you. You’re not even sure exactly what they’re being fake about but you can feel the difference.
Now reverse that…
Imagine that other people feel that way when you’re being fake with them. Face the fact that most of the time people know you’re lying! And they despise you for it, and they resent you for it.
You’d be better off telling them the truth. At least then they’ll respect you. And feel respected by you.
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Another way to look at it is as a trade-off: do I want emotional comfort now in exchange for disconnection and chaos later, or get it over with now?
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