The insane paranoia of High Achievers

Daily Dose of Integrity

There’s a crazy irrational belief that many of us High Achievers have: we are not allowed to enjoy our life too much.

We can’t be too grateful. We can’t cruise or relax. We get nervous about too much good luck.

We have this bizarre paranoia that some kind of force is watching us, and if things get too good for us it will knock us down hard.

You’ll see high achievers responding to positive feedback or evidence of their success with resistance, saying things like, “Yeah but… [insert reason it’s not good enough or reason they can’t take the credit]”. It’s like they’re worried something bad will happen if they get accept a win.

It means we feel obliged keep pushing ourselves. We always have to find another way to suffer. We keep ourselves busy and stressed. We reset goals before they’re completed and measure ourselves unfairly to ensure that we’re never feeling like we’re doing good enough.

We never give ourselves a pat on the back. We rarely accept a compliment. We feel uncomfortable with good luck and gifts and things going perfectly right.

Because if we did then we’d be provoking Fate or God or Something into punishing us for getting too big for ourselves, doing too well, and getting too far ahead.

This is a crazy paranoia that comes from childhood trauma. High achievers come from a strict upbringing of unreasonably high standards, harsh responses to failure, and punishment for having fun.

If you want to enjoy your achievements and indeed your life in general, you need to address this shit by allowing yourself off the hook by simply being good enough, measuring yourself fairly, and taking time out to have fun.

It will feel awful at first, but when you start to notice that nothing bad happens, you’ll see the paranoia for what it is.


For more on this topic, check out my video “Perfect vs Good enough… which is better in real life?”

2 Responses

  1. Before starting a task, try figuring out what it would mean to just do it “good enough”, and then try stop yourself at that point

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Confidence | Clarity | Connection

No more people-pleasing, Nice Guy Syndrome, or confidence issues.

The BROJO community will make sure you achieve your goals and build your self-worth with the support of members and coaches from all over the world.