Here are 5 of the most frequently asked questions I get as a coach. I’ve challenged myself to try answer these in a single sentence! Not really possible, but gotta post something today, right?
1) How do I stop being so jealous of my partner’s sexual history?
Realise that jealousy is actually a surface-level reaction to deeper core issues around control and fear of abandonment, and that this issue is not about sex, it’s about resolving your sense of unworthiness as a partner and as a person in general.
2) How do I deal with resistance from someone I’m trying to help?
By moving away from trying to make them do something (a.k.a. “fixing”) into trying to support them to figure out what they should do for themselves, usually by asking them what they think the solution should be and encouraging them to try it.
3) Should I leave my partner if I’m attracted to someone else?
Probably not – your decision to stay or leave a partner should be solely based on how you feel about your partner, they way the treat you, and the relationship as a whole, so decisions about being with another person shouldn’t be made until after you’re single again.
4) What’s wrong with being nice / being a people pleaser?
It’s manipulative, selfish, codependent, enabling of poor attachment styles, dishonest, disrespectful of yourself, judgmental of others (thinking they need you to manage their emotions), cowardly, damaging to your connection with the other person, damaging to your self confidence, damaging to your future ability to connect with people, inefficient at creating genuine enjoyment of life, and it gaslights everyone involved into believing a disingenuous reality.
5) Why doesn’t my partner seem to want sex anymore / won’t initiate sex?
Surprisingly, the most unlikely (but still possible) answer is that they’re no longer attracted to you – it’s far more likely to be that there’s an emotional disconnect problem in the relationship, or you’ve been to affectionate toward each other / spent too much time together, or you care too much for your partner (i.e. worry about them), or they have a personal issue that affects libido that has little to do with you e.g. depression, burn out, trauma, or addiction.
If you’d like the long version answers for any of these questions, comment which question below and I’ll link you to my relevant videos and podcasts.
Dan’s Top Resources
Dan has 3 bestselling non-fiction books available in both written and audio form:
- The Naked Truth, his latest release, shows you how radical honesty builds self-confidence and relationships
- Nothing to Lose explores how to build confidence from the inside by correcting the programming in your brain
- The Legendary Life is a very practical, action-focused guide on how to plan and execute a life plan that brings you your ideal lifestyle
Dan continues to put out high quality online self-paced courses through the Udemy platform
- Nice Guy Recovery: how to transform from a people pleaser into a confident beast.
- Shamelessness: how to relieve yourself of the “not good enough” story
- Powerful Honesty: takes you through step-by-step development of your communication skills to be more charismatic and powerful in your honesty
- The 3X Confidence and Authenticity Masterclass program: use the famous 3X Model to build confidence in all areas of life
- Financial Freedom for Beginners: includes everything from budgeting, to getting a raise, to investing in the stock market, to starting a side-business and more
- Overcoming Your Fear of Rejection… Permanently!: covers the psychology of “rejection” and what actions to take to make yourself immune to the fear of it