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Tall Poppy Syndrome: Why Standing Out in New Zealand Feels Like a Crime

Welcome back to Ask Dan Anything, coming to you from New Zealand! Today, I want to talk about something that’s deeply ingrained in Kiwi culture: Tall Poppy Syndrome.

If you’re unfamiliar with the term, it refers to a social phenomenon where individuals who excel or stand out are subtly (or not-so-subtly) cut down to size. It’s a culture of discouragement, where being exceptional is met with skepticism rather than support.

What is Tall Poppy Syndrome?

Tall Poppy Syndrome is this unspoken rule that says, don’t think you’re special. If someone is doing well—whether it’s in business, art, or any other field—their success is often met with criticism rather than celebration.

The term comes from the idea that if one poppy grows taller than the others, it gets cut down to keep the field even. And in New Zealand, this mindset is deeply embedded in the culture.

You’ll hear things like:

• “Stay humble.”
• “Don’t get too big for your boots.”
• “Who do you think you are?”

It’s a way of keeping people in check, making sure nobody rises too far above the crowd. And while it might seem harmless, it actually discourages ambition, creativity, and risk-taking.

How Tall Poppy Syndrome Shows Up

The best way I can explain it is through my experience as a musician. When I was in a metal band in New Zealand, we encountered something we called the D of Death—a phenomenon where the audience would deliberately avoid standing in front of the stage.

At gigs, instead of coming up to support the band, people would press themselves against the walls, standing as far back as possible. They didn’t want to be seen enjoying the music unless they were sure the band was already popular.

In places like the U.S. or Australia, even unknown bands get wild support. People cheer, mosh, and act like you’re famous—even if you suck. But in New Zealand? If you’re not already established, people hesitate to show interest. And this isn’t just in music—it happens in business, sports, and basically any field where someone is trying to stand out.

Why Does This Happen?

I believe Tall Poppy Syndrome is a form of herd behavior. In nature, a herd of animals moves as one, and any outlier is seen as a threat. The human brain is wired similarly—we instinctively distrust those who break from the norm.

In New Zealand, this has been amplified into a cultural virtue. Growing up, we mocked Americans for being “braggy” and self-promotional. We took pride in our humility, believing that being modest and mediocre was a good thing.

If your tastes align with the mainstream, you fit in. But if you’re too different? You’re seen as trying to be special, and that’s not allowed.

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The Subtle Ways Tall Poppy Syndrome Works

One of the trickiest things about Tall Poppy Syndrome is that it’s often covert. It doesn’t always come in the form of outright negativity. Instead, it’s more like:

• Discouragement from unqualified sources – People who have never started a business, written a book, or pursued a creative career telling you, “Are you sure? That’s risky.”
• Unsupport – Friends and family who say they believe in you but never actually do anything to support you. They won’t share your posts, buy your products, or promote your work until you’ve already “made it.”
• Conditional praise – People waiting to see how others react before they give you any credit.

When I started my coaching business, I was surprised by how little support I got. My closest friends and family were mostly neutral. The only person who truly encouraged me was a successful entrepreneur who had been through it himself.

Everyone else? They just watched, waiting to see if I would succeed before offering any real encouragement.

The Difference in Other Cultures

This is one of the biggest cultural differences between New Zealand and places like Australia or the U.S.

• In Australia, you’re almost punished for not standing out. If you’re just average, people wonder what the hell you’re doing with your life.
• In the U.S., even if someone thinks you suck, they’ll still hype you up. They’ll say, “Yeah! Go for it!” because ambition is respected.
• In New Zealand, being average is rewarded. Blending in is safe. Trying to be extraordinary is a social risk.

How to Handle Tall Poppy Syndrome

If you’re someone who wants to stand out, whether in business, art, or any other field, Tall Poppy Syndrome can feel suffocating. Here’s how to navigate it:

1. Recognize It For What It Is

When people discourage you, realize it’s not about you—it’s about the culture they’ve been raised in. Don’t take it personally.

2. Find a Supportive Community

One of the reasons we started Brojo was to create a space where people could talk about personal development without being mocked for it. If you can’t find that community in New Zealand, look elsewhere—join online groups, connect with entrepreneurs, artists, or anyone who embraces standing out.

3. Stop Expecting Support From The Wrong People

It took me a while to stop resenting the lack of support from friends and family. But I’ve realized—it’s not their fault. They’ve been conditioned to act this way. Instead of focusing on who isn’t supporting you, focus on finding people who will.

4. Lead By Example

When I was younger, I probably contributed to Tall Poppy Syndrome without realizing it. I’ve stood at the back at concerts when I should’ve been up front. I’ve been silent when I should’ve spoken up.

Now, I make an effort to support those who are taking risks. If I see a friend starting a business, I’ll promote it. If someone’s making music, I’ll share it. Be the kind of supporter you wish you had.

Final Thoughts

Tall Poppy Syndrome is one of New Zealand’s biggest flaws. It holds people back, discourages ambition, and creates a culture where mediocrity is the safest choice.

If you’re in New Zealand and struggling with this, find your people. Seek out communities that celebrate standing out. And if you can’t find that here—consider moving somewhere that encourages individuality.

New Zealand is an amazing country. But if we want to thrive, we need to stop cutting down the tall poppies and start watering them instead.

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