Stop trying to fix bad friendships

A client of mine was struggling with an acquaintance. He was having some conflict with her and wanted to fix it.

I asked him, what was the last thing she said to you? And it was basically, “Leave me alone, never contact me again!”

So straight away I’m asking, “Why are you putting effort into this person? Why aren’t you respecting her wishes?”

But I know the answer already. I’ve seen this before. It amazes me how often people try to fix bad fit connections.

People think there’s some hope, maybe because it was positive in the past, and they put this huge amount of effort into trying to move forward on a red light – someone’s either clearly told you they’re not interested, or they’ve behaved in such a way that a person who’s good for you would never behave, or they’ve said something that a good fit connection would never say.

What does a green light look like? Before you put effort into trying to repair a connection ask yourself, “Are they behaving like someone who’s the right fit for me?”

Because if not, move on and find someone else. Creating a new connection takes less effort and is much more likely to be successful.

For more on this topic, check out my video “Weeding the Garden: Knowing When Avoid Creating Rapport and When to End Relationships”:

2 Responses

  1. Even if you suspect the person is overreacting, still move on. Find a friend that doesn’t express disagreement in a toxic way

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Confidence | Clarity | Connection

No more people-pleasing, Nice Guy Syndrome, or confidence issues.

The BROJO community will make sure you achieve your goals and build your self-worth with the support of members and coaches from all over the world.