Stop Helping People: The One-Month Challenge That Changed My Life

Stop helping.

Stop advising.

Unless somebody asks, and even when they do, you’ve got to be careful.

Do not offer assistance, advice, support, or guidance to anybody for an entire month.

Just let them live their own lives without your help.

See if the whole world falls down or not.

Give yourself a chance to watch what happens if people live without you.

See that it can be done.

Assume that you know nothing about what other people are thinking and feeling. Assume that their behaviour is not something you’re actually that good at reading, and challenge everything.

If you make an assumption about someone—believing they’re thinking this or feeling that—go and ask them if that’s true.

Try to figure out how often you are actually correct. Get a percentage.

I’m guaranteeing you that it’s a lower percentage than what you currently believe it to be, which is probably about 100%.

The reason we’ve got to try and challenge our judgmental nature is that it hurts us in relationships.

We can’t connect with someone unless we know who they really are.

What we’ve been doing is connecting based on what we think they are, which is usually wrong.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:

2 Responses

  1. If you feel guilty for not offering help that no one has asked for, you might be suffering from people pleasing disorder

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