Today I want to talk about a frame which I think is unhelpful: namely, the idea that comparing yourself to others is somehow beneficial.

For example, “Other people are more confident than I am,” or “Other people are less skilled at writing than I am,” or “How fat am I compared to my friends?”

There’s this constant push to ask, “How do I compare to others?” The narrative, subtle as it may be, is often that this is a good idea: it helps you understand how good you are as a person and how well you’re doing.

The idea of comparing yourself to others is seen as a reliable measure—one that you need to excel in.The reason I think this is an unhelpful frame is simply because it’s been proven to be so.

Very few people who compare themselves to others report having a high quality of life, while the opposite is often true.

People who focus on themselves and live by their own core principles or values tend to find it much easier to enjoy a high quality of life, compared to those who are constantly comparing themselves to others.

In my experience as a coach, I’ve found that people who compare themselves to others often suffer, almost without exception. The opposite is true as well: people who don’t compare themselves to others and focus on other measurements or standards tend to enjoy their lives much more.

I want you to open your mind to how skewed that frame is because it all comes down to who you choose to compare yourself to and what points of data you choose to compare.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: