Stop chasing people!

Look, I don’t know who needs to hear this and I’m certainly not saying anything original here – it’s been said many times before – but in case you missed it:

You should never be chasing people, ever!

A healthy confident person who would enhance your life is never going to play “hard to get”. Any attempts to string you along with the old “hot and cold” routine is a serious red flag.

If maintaining a connection with the person you’re interested in requires you doing more than 50% of the work because they are not as invested as you are, and they will not initiate unless you lead and so on, it means – say it with me now – they’re simply Not That Into You.

Regardless of whatever promises they might make or things they might say or other signs that give you hope, if their behaviour regarding spending time with you is not as enthusiastic as yours, then you’re better off looking for someone else.

Whether this is a partner or a friend – though I’m mostly thinking about dating as I write this – if people aren’t investing equally with you, that’s the evidence that you look at. Nothing else.

There are 7.5 billion people out there. If even 0.1% of them are a good fit for you, that’s still 75,000 people – more than you could possibly meet in your lifetime.

Raise your standards.

P.S. There are always exceptions to this rule, such as someone who just started a new business or is busy raising young kids. Still, compare how their investment in you matches other people in their life, and use this to gauge how much of their available bandwidth is saved for you.

2 Responses

  1. To test the investment level, simply never initiate twice in a row. Any message should wait for a reply.

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