A lot of people like to be the sacrificial plow horse.

They like to be the martyr who gets hurt.

They want to be seen that way.

They want to feel that.

They want other people to know them as “the one who sacrifices.”

Here’s the truth: they’re not sacrificing at all. That’s actually how they get their needs met.

They’re winning, quite often, by imposing their “help” on other people — which means the other person is actually losing.

So instead, embrace self-centered giving.

You can enhance lives — both yours and others’ — simultaneously.

You don’t have to miss out for someone else to win. That’s a weird standard.

Why can’t we all just have a good time?

So, if you’re going to help someone, make sure you do it in a way you enjoy — win-win.

Make sure they actually want the help.

Finally, make sure it’s really what’s best for them to achieve their goals, rather than something they’d be better off doing themselves.

You can enhance people’s lives without martyrdom.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: