Recently I got asked this question: How do I learn to just be with emotional pain?

I’d say the question needs to be more like: How do I make it okay to be emotional, rather than trying to avoid the pain side of it or trying to rewrite the narrative side of it, even with words like “sadness,” for example?

This is just a label we give to a feeling that we loosely and collectively agree on, but what you mean when you say you’re sad might not be the same thing that I mean when I say I’m sad.

When you’re asking, How do I bring it up and out and be okay with it and grieve it?—essentially, what you’re looking to do first and foremost is learn how to express it, how to put it into words.

Later on, you can look at how to put it into actions.

Whether it’s by yourself, with someone else, journaling, or speaking out loud—it’s not so important how it’s done.

Rather, what is important is to learn to practice stopping and just describing the physical sensations you’re going through.

If I were to do it right now, I’d say I’ve got slightly sore eyes, generally a calm feeling throughout my body, a kind of stillness, a little bit of heat behind my ears. My palms are sweating a little bit.

Do you have any idea what emotion I’m talking about?

I don’t know what I’d call this feeling.

I don’t need to call it anything.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: