Get free access to my Nice Guy Recovery & Confidence Building course (worth $130) and connect with like-minded men when you join Brojo here… all for free!
https://www.skool.com/brojo-the-integrity-army-6491/about
Is It Ever Okay to Lie for Your Own Safety?
This is one of those questions that seems simple on the surface but gets more complicated the deeper you go: is lying ever okay—especially when you’re scared?
My bro E-man sent me a message that sparked this post. He’s lived in dangerous places. He’s had scary-looking people come up to him asking for money. His instinctive reaction has always been to say, “Sorry, I’ve got none,” even though he does. He knows he’s lying, and he knows why—he’s trying to protect himself and walk away as quickly as possible.
On the face of it, it seems obvious:
“If I’m in danger, lying is justified.”
Right?
But not so fast.
E-man also mentioned intrusive thoughts about burglars demanding to know where his family is, or violent people confronting him in the street. He imagines that lying will save him. And he’s not alone—most people believe dishonesty is a safety strategy.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Most of the time, lying doesn’t protect you.
And sometimes, it actually increases your danger.
Let’s explore why.
The Big Wrong Assumption: “My Lie Will Be Believed”
The first mistake people make in these situations is assuming that the lie is effective. You think someone dangerous will take your words at face value:
“I have no money.”
“I don’t live around here.”
“I’m just leaving.”
But here’s what you’re forgetting:
Dangerous people spend their entire lives surrounded by liars.
Criminals, gang members, street hustlers—they hear lies all day, every day. They get exceptionally good at detecting fear, weakness, bluffing, and deception.
When I spent nearly a decade working with violent offenders—including hitmen, robbers, and gang enforcers—I learned something important:
They don’t believe anything you say.
They watch how you say it.
They’re not listening for truth.
They’re scanning your behaviour for weakness.
So when you tell a robber, “I’ve got no money,” you imagine he’ll think, “Oh well, no point.”
But what he really sees is:
Avoidant eye contact
Quickened pace
Nervous tone
A flimsy excuse
A desire to flee
To him, that’s not “protection.”
It’s a neon sign that says EASY TARGET.
You’re Not Being Judged on Honesty. You’re Being Judged on Strength.
Let me explain something that very few people know unless they’ve spent time around violent offenders:
Criminals don’t choose their victims based on opportunity.
They choose based on weakness.
They’re not hunters; they’re scavengers. They’re not seeking a challenge—far from it. They want the person who will fold instantly. They want the guy who submits before anything even happens.
What they’re scanning for is:
Fear
Hesitation
Self-protection behaviour
Submissiveness
Discomfort
And guess what signals all of those things?
Lying.
When you lie out of fear, you’re showing them that you’re already intimidated. You’re already mentally defeated. And if you’re defeated, you’ll probably be physically compliant too.
That’s the real calculation they’re making—not, “Does he have money?”
but, “Will he put up a fight?”
Honesty Signals Strength, Not Vulnerability
Here’s the counterintuitive truth:
A calm, honest response is more intimidating than a fearful lie.
If someone dodgy asks you for money and you say, in a firm, even tone:
“I don’t have anything to spare,”
you’re not pretending. You’re not faking fear. You’re not hiding.
You’re looking them in the eye and speaking plainly.
That doesn’t say, “I’m weak.”
It says, “I’m not afraid of you knowing what I really think.”
Just that one fact alone signals power.
Because the real threat to an attacker isn’t that you have money.
It’s that you might resist.
It’s that hurting you might be difficult, risky, or messy.
When you’re honest, you communicate:
Self-possession
Confidence
Experience
Boundaries
Readiness
And that’s unnerving to someone looking for a victim.
Join Brojo for Free Today!
>> Click here to claim your course!
The Prison Lesson That Changed Everything
When I first started working in corrections, I was terrified.
The inmates sensed it instantly and pounced. They’d yell abuse at me from behind bars, threaten me, test me, try to push my buttons.
But here’s the strange thing:
The guys who ran the entire prison hierarchy
were not the strongest or biggest.
Some were tiny. Some were out of shape.
But they all had something else:
unshakeable self-belief.
One day I realised the reason I was being targeted while these guys weren’t:
They were brutally honest. Always.
I was trying to manage impressions.
Over the years, as I practiced complete honesty with offenders—telling them the uncomfortable truth, calling them out, refusing to back down—something changed in me.
Not all at once.
Not loudly.
But gradually.
My fear evaporated.
My posture changed.
My walk changed.
My energy changed.
Years later, when I’d walk into a prison, nobody yelled anymore.
Nobody threatened me.
They didn’t even look twice at me.
But if I walked through with a nervous new officer?
He’d get torn apart on arrival.
That’s when I finally understood:
Honesty had created confidence.
Confidence had created safety.
Even “Small” Lies Signal Weakness
Crossing the road to avoid someone.
Pretending to be on your phone.
Acting like you didn’t notice someone approaching.
Feigning interest in a shop window.
These are all “micro-lies.”
And they all send one clear message:
“I’m afraid of you.”
To a normal person, these behaviours look harmless.
To someone predatory, they look like prey behaviour.
If someone has already decided to target you, a lie won’t change that.
And if they were undecided, the lie might tip the balance.
The Real Safety Strategy: Walk Like You Belong There
Once I internalised all of this, something remarkable happened:
The world became less dangerous.
I could walk through rough neighbourhoods with ease.
Not because I was tougher.
Not because I was armed.
Not because I was trained.
But because I carried myself like a man with nothing to hide.
I walked slower.
I held eye contact briefly but fearlessly.
I didn’t rush.
I didn’t avert.
I didn’t pretend.
I didn’t justify.
And trouble simply… disappeared.
Honesty wasn’t just an ethical choice.
It was a behavioural signal:
“I’m not the one you want.”
So Should You Ever Lie to Protect Yourself?
Here’s the closest thing to a clear answer:
If you believe lying will protect you,
you’re almost certainly wrong.
You don’t need to tell people everything.
You don’t need to overshare.
You don’t need to justify your existence.
You don’t need to explain why you don’t want to engage.
But you also don’t need to lie.
Silence is honest.
Walking away is honest.
Ignoring someone is honest.
Setting a boundary is honest.
Lying—especially fear-lying—is a signal of vulnerability.
Predators pick up on it consciously or unconsciously.
The Practice: “If I Weren’t Afraid, How Would I Act?”
This is the golden question E-man—and anyone else dealing with these fears—can ask himself:
“If I weren’t scared of this person, how would I behave?”
Whatever the answer is, do that.
Not perfectly.
Not heroically.
Just do it cleanly and plainly.
You’ll notice a difference immediately—in yourself and in how people react to you.
Final Thoughts
Lying feels like a shield, but it’s actually a spotlight shining directly onto your fear.
Honesty isn’t just moral—it’s practical. It’s protective.
It’s a way of signalling:
“I’m not prey.”
Most of the time, the safest thing you can do is simply:
Be direct
Be calm
Be grounded
Be unbothered
Be honest
And walk on.
Achieve Unshakable Confidence & Social Mastery in Just a Few Months—Guaranteed
You could spend years trying to figure this out on your own. Reading books, watching videos, experimenting with trial and error, dealing with rejection and frustration—hoping that one day, it all clicks.
Or… you can fast-track your transformation with expert coaching and get results in months instead of years.
This is what my confidence coaching delivers:
✅ Eliminate fear of rejection—so you can approach anyone without hesitation.
✅ Silence self-doubt—finally feel worthy, capable, and good enough.
✅ Master effortless social skills—without fake tactics or awkward scripts.
✅ Unleash your masculinity—become naturally assertive and attractive.
✅ Develop rock-solid self-confidence—that carries into every area of your life.
✅ Stop self-sabotage—and remove the hidden mental blocks holding you back.
✅ Achieve career growth, better dating success, and deeper friendships—by becoming your most powerful self.
I spent 7–10 years figuring this out the hard way. My clients get there in 3–6 months.
🚀 I’ve helped virgins become fathers.
🚀 I’ve transformed people-pleasers into powerful leaders.
🚀 I’ve turned overthinkers into confident decision-makers.
🚀 I’ve guided anxious, depressed men into lasting confidence and optimism.
And now, I want to help you.
Your First Coaching Session is Completely Free (No Sales Pitch, No Risk!)
I don’t want you to take my word for it. I want you to experience it. That’s why I’m offering you a free trial coaching session—with no pressure, no obligation, and absolutely no sales pitch.
If you love it, we’ll continue. If not, you walk away with valuable insights—no strings attached.
🔹 Click here to apply for a free trial coaching session now.
Spots are limited, and I only work with people serious about change. If you’re ready to finally take control of your confidence and social success, apply today.
Looking forward to speaking with you,
Dan Munro
💬 What Clients Say About Dan Munro Coaching
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ James K., CFO
“I actually believe women can be attracted to me now and I no longer see women as on a pedestal. I had created excuses in many areas of my life to keep me from changing to the person that is more successful. I am a happier person now. I actually feel confident that I will be able to achieve my most important goals whereas before I was almost resigned to never being in a relationship and had accepted that maybe it’s just not for me.”
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Simon C., Insurance Analyst
“I was having a problem with self-confidence which was ruining my life. I felt confused, desperate, and was losing hope. Dan helped me rediscover my core values and I have started to build a life I truly want to live. I found the courage to take a risk with exploring a new career path. After a lifetime of being chronically single, I’ve connected deeply with a high-quality woman to create a real relationship for the first time in my life! I wouldn’t trade places with anyone else in the world and for the first time ever I like being me.”
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ James P., Life Coach
“After being coached by Dan, I started to push my comfort zones more and more. Things that were foreign/difficult to me became less so. I started building a strong social circle, filling my calendar with meaningful activities, and expressing attraction to women confidently. With Dan, I felt like I wasn’t alone in facing my problems. I had the motivation to change, and Dan helped me stay on track. I haven’t stopped making improvements in my life since.”
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Pulkit K., Dentist
“I started my journey as ‘Mr. Nice Guy’. I would find it hard to rock the boat. Trying to avoid confrontation at work was leading to frustration and low self-esteem. I used to be scared to assert myself for fear of coming across as an unpleasant person. Thanks to my work with Dan, I have practiced the simple yet difficult task of expressing myself honestly. Handling confrontation is a skill I continue to get better at. It has helped me cultivate deeper and more satisfying relationships at work, and even led to me being invited to speak internationally to other professionals.”
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Emma J., Artist
“Dan helped me break through so many barriers, fears, and doubts. He allowed me to see who I really am, who I want to be, and what I am capable of. A friend recently asked me what made my dream of traveling overseas finally possible… The answer was easy: the work I’ve done with Dan. It’s no longer just wishful thinking that one day I might improve myself—it’s now an exciting reality.”
🧭 Want to experience your own transformation?
👉 Work with Dan Munro today