I think it was Mike Tyson who said something about how social media has made us all too comfortable with talking shit and not getting punched in the face for it.

In case it’s not obvious, what he’s saying is that we have a sneaky kind of cowardice where we only say what we really think when there’s no chance of the other person being able to adequately defend themselves.

One thing that my coaching clients often discover as they become more assertive and confrontational is that the same people who would talk shit about them behind their back – online or to other people – absolutely fall apart when you confront them face-to-face…

and then they stop talking about you behind your back too!

If they know that you’re going to consistently come and confront them when you find out about it, they’ll start to think twice before throwing jabs from a distance.

Now there’s not all that much you can do with complete random strangers online, other than ignore them (which is what I recommend).

But if you find yourself in a pattern of being backstabbed or having people say bad things about you online, make it a practice to call them or see them face-to-face and bring it up, and you will squash it almost completely.

Do NOT try to address it via text-based communication. This is what they prefer!

Plus, on a more positive note, people tend to be more genuinely compassionate and empathetic when they can see the other person’s face and realise that this is a real person with hurt feelings. Many online trolls would actually feel guilt if the harm they caused happened right in front of them.

• If you’d like to have the courage and skills to stand up for yourself face to face, then email me dan@brojo.org with “Powerful Honesty” to get a big discount on my Powerful Honesty course
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