[Short] Why punishing yourself for failures is stupid and pointless

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Almost globally we believe it’s a good idea to punish people for bad behavior and we do it to ourselves, not just others. So when we behave badly, we feel compelled to guilt-trip ourselves and shame ourselves over and over again for this bad behavior. What I learned working with criminal offenders as that, this is counterproductive. If you put a guy in prison, he becomes more likely to commit crimes, not less. When you punish and shame someone for bad behavior they actually become more likely to do more bad behavior later. The best reaction to bad behavior is reparation. The best thing you can do if you’ve behaved in a way that you’re not proud of is fix it and be a better person now. And you can look at it like your last self. So the person you were most recently, was that a good person? If not then be a good person now. And if it was a good person then it doesn’t matter that you were bad before.



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