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There’s a harsh little truth about nice guys and people pleasers that they have to face, and that is, more often than not, they’re nicer to complete strangers than they are to their loved ones and their close ones. People pleasers hurt the ones who love them the most. Why? Because people pleasers only put on the effort into pleasing other people when they feel that there’s a threat that the other person won’t like them or will abandon them, or ruin their reputation. So once they feel safe with someo, like a partner, or their own child, or a long-term family member or a friend, they no longer feel that need to try and manage the person. That person becomes a safe place. The problem with that is all the resentment that people pleaser builds up from pleasing everyone else gets taken out in that safe space. So the loved ones get the worst treatment. If you want to be confident, you need to reverse the hierarchy.