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[Short] Why living with integrity doesn’t feel THAT good

If you’ve spent your whole life chasing highs and instant gratification, you might find that switching over to living with integrity is kind of boring or even a little unfulfilling at first.

After a lifetime spent seeking intensely pleasurable emotional experiences, and following these with despairing lows and crashes, solid principled living can seem a little dull in comparison.

And this is a choice that we all have to make. It took me a long time to make this decision.

There’s two lives we can lead.

One: we have highs and lows. So we seek highs, instant gratification, feel good right now comfort zone stuff, and then we have to pay for it later. We have withdrawals of various kinds, we have the blowback and the repercussions of our actions. So we go up and down, up and down.

This is the like getting drunk and then being hungover. Bingeing on sugar and then becoming unhealthy. Doing whatever you can to make money and then going through an existential crisis 10 years later. People pleasing your partner and then ending up divorced.

And over time, we’re on a gradual decline as an average, and our life gets worse and worse.

The second option, the kind of Stoicism option, is you live by your values; you live with integrity. You choose doing what’s right over what’s fun and easy. You discipline yourself to live by a code no matter what fleeting emotions you might be experiencing.

You work out and eat healthy, even though neither of these feels amazing at the time, but you get healthier. You are honest with everyone, which leads to a lot of awkwardness and confrontations but you’re rewarded with a high quality inner circle after a few years. You do work that is meaningful but have to endure being broke while slowly figuring out how to put food on the table as well.

You never really get high, but you also prevent massive lows, and you’re on a slow increase over time as a confidence baseline.

You have to choose between these two, because you can’t have both.


  • If you’d like to choose option two, then check out my 3X Confidence Course
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One Response

  1. Learning to journal about your integrity wins each day can really help with the transition, you can see things that make you proud of yourself, which is a more mellow yet more meaningful high, especially when you can say that you used to do something worse in similar situations

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