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[Short] Why being Nice is a selfish lie

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I spent the first 25 or so years of my life telling myself that being a nice guy was a good thing. And it took me a long time to realize that the only reason I told myself this was because the behavior that I associated with being nice often got a pleasurable reaction from people. And I assumed that if people are feeling pleasure then I am doing something good. Now, it started to come into conflict when I realized that a lot of this nice behavior was devious and deceptive. I was hiding how I truly felt. I was hiding most of my emotional range. Most of my beliefs, most of my thoughts and feelings about other people and so therefore, I was lying to them to make them feel happy. The idea that being nice is good, comes from the idea that being happy all the time is good. And yet there’s really no reason to believe this. A human being needs the full range of emotion to be healthy. So in being nice you actually deprive them of that range. You’re holding them back, not helping them.

 


 

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