One of the reasons I’m so hard on people about being honest about everything, including not telling little white lies, is because of what I call “seed lies”.
So you tell a little lie that doesn’t seem like a big deal in the moment, and taken out of context it doesn’t seem like a particularly harmful thing to say (or not say).
But if you look at it like a seed, you’ll see how other lies quickly sprout from the seed and grow, because when you’re called out later for that same information, you now need to lie about the original lie. And then you have to create this whole Lie World around what initially looked like a very small lie.
Let’s say your partner asks you to go apple picking. You’d rather jam a pencil into your earhole, but you just say, “Sure, sounds like fun” because you don’t want hurt her feelings. Doesn’t seem like a big lie, does it?
Now you’re apple picking. She asks you, “Isn’t this fun?!” and you say “Yes”. And so now you’ve told two lies because you refuse to admit to the first one. The seed is already sprouting.
Later, in front of your family, she talks about the apple picking, and tells them you enjoyed it. You nod along (your third lie), but now to a group of people. Now your whole family thinks you like apple picking, and more than that: that you’re the kind of person who likes apple picking, so now they’re going to create a whole lot of other untrue assumptions about you (e.g. that you generally prefer calm outdoor activities).
The Lie World is being created within 24 hours of the original lie.
Before you know it, they’re getting you similar trips for your birthday, and telling others that you possess certain characteristics that you never had.
This is the probability with just ONE small lie. Now imagine that, like most people, you tell MULTIPLE small lies EVERY DAY.
This is how you lose sight of who you are and end up having only fake connections. Your whole life can quickly get out of control this way.
I’m not exaggerating. My coaching work is currently sold out helping people rebuild lives that have been utterly DESTROYED by many thousands of small lies.
So stamp it out at the seed and don’t let it grow.