[Short] The self deception behind bad decisions

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You know that moment where you’re debating with yourself about doing something you just know is wrong?

You go through this little back and forth in your mind, and you eventually say to yourself something like, “I just don’t care anymore”, or “Fuck it!”

When I was working in rehabilitation, especially with drugs addicts, we’d call this the What The Fuck moment. It’s the last thing someone says to themselves before they relapse.

It used to blow my mind that even hardened and sadistic criminal offenders still have to talk themselves into committing crimes. Like they need a “good reason”, or an excuse.

WTF is the moment where you finally cross the line into breaching your integrity, and it always comes after that little internal debate. That little moment is a symbol, telling you that your fear and shame have temporarily deactivated your motivation to continue doing the right things.

The problem isn’t so much that your motivation to live with integrity is gone, it’s the fact that you don’t question that WTF narrative.

When you say to yourself “I don’t care”, you don’t ask yourself after that, “Really, is that true? Do I really not care about the consequences of this? Do I really not have higher priorities and better goals than this?”

If you can just stop yourself and just go “Is this true?” it changes everything.

  • You’ll stop talking yourself into bad behaviour if you overcome your inner shame and no longer need to do bad things to feel good about yourself – check out my Shamelessness: Develop Unbreakable Social Confidence course
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