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There’s a tragic thing that used to happen in our Brojo groups all the time, we’d be working with a guy helping them to become more honest and bold, and stop being so needy and so on, and in doing this, he would attract a great partner… and then he would fucking disappear! And we wouldn’t see him again for eight months, a year, until after the breakup. What happened? Once he got the girl, so to speak, he completely relapsed into being a nice guy and sabotaged the relationship because she was initially attracted to the honesty. You’ve got to be wary of this when you’re a nice guy in recovery. When you actually get what you want, you’re going to be at very high risk of relapse and that’s what’s going to destroy it.

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