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There’s a dangerous state we all get into called wallowing in self pity. And it’s where we deliberately for some baffling reason try to make life hurt. There’s three warning signs you want to watch out for. First off is searching for why. Which means if you’ve had some tough times or whatever going on in your life, you keep asking yourself Why?? What caused this? It’s a very blaming type of mentality, which is a victim mentality. The next one of course is getting mad at yourself, even getting mad at yourself for being mad at yourself. This kind of endless whipping on your own back. This idea that you’ve done something wrong. And the third one is what Brene Brown calls pain shopping. Where you deliberately seek out things that bother you and dismiss evidence that things are good. This is the human compulsion to wallow in self pity, and you have to slap yourself in the face and just say STOP IT!