One of my clients is really frustrated.
He started getting up earlier (or at least he did it once) and it worked kind of well, but it didn’t solve all of his problems. So he felt like he was going back to square one; going back to the drawing board.
This is what I call the Nice Guy Short Circuit.
Nice guys and people pleasers secretly crave a smooth, problem free life. So whenever we attempt something, we’re looking for evidence that we’ve found it.
And when something doesn’t immediately create sensations of comfort, certainty and pleasure, we assume we haven’t found what we’re looking for, and that it’s time to start the search all over again.
In other words, we give up quickly on new things when they don’t immediately go well or solve our problems perfectly.
What I told him is that it’s not about finding a quick fix. You’re not going to find this one thing that cures all your bullshit.
It’s more like a recipe. You gotta stack up things that help, and remove things that harm. Maybe getting up early in the morning makes your day 10% better. Then you throw in a cold shower, that makes it maybe 3% better. You do a workout, maybe it makes your day 7% better, and you skip lunch and you’re not so full in the afternoon – that adds another 17%.
And what you do is you just stack these things up, over and over again until you find a recipe, a formula that really works for you.
It will never be perfect and you’ll always have problems, but with the right formula at least your problems will be good ones to have.