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I caught one of my coaching clients using a sneaky word today: “Natural”.

In the context of self-development, I’ll often hear somebody say something like, “That doesn’t feel natural to me”, when talking about a potential behavioral change. Usually what they’re talking about is an improvement in their behavior, but it’s something that’s unfamiliar, something that requires some courage.

Talking to strangers, starting a business, pursuing a hobby for the first time, standing up to your boss – none of these things feel natural unless you’ve done them for a long time.

“Natural” = lots of experience + alignment with your core values.

You got to watch out for the word natural because that’s your fear trying to make the thing sound wrong, because unnatural is the opposite of natural. And unnatural sounds a lot like bad or wrong.

But there’s nothing wrong with trying something new that aligns with your values. There’s nothing wrong with replacing an unhelpful (yet familiar) behaviour with something better for you. There’s nothing wrong with finally living with integrity instead of just talking about it.

So instead of saying “This doesn’t feel natural”, say “I’m not yet comfortable doing this, but it aligns with my values”.

To quote The 40 Year Old Virgin, “Doing what feels right isn’t working for you, you need to try some wrong, dog!”

• If you’d like to get over the sense that be yourself feels wrong, check out my Shamelessness: Develop Unbreakable Social confidence course
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