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Like myself, many of my Nice Guy coaching clients experience what’s known as “comorbidity” – having two or more mental health “issues” simultaneously.
Many of us have other psychological challenges alongside our Nice Guy Syndrome. Two of the most common are Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
So alongside the desire to people-please and avoid conflict, we also struggle to stick to one thing consistently, find bright lights and loud noises unbearable, can’t stop fidgeting, struggle to accurately read facial cues, find small talk intolerable, and so many more…
One of the things I want to point out is that Nice Guy Syndrome is often a kind of strategy to deal with the original ASD and ADHD issues.
If you’re on the autistic spectrum and you struggle to connect socially, people pleasing might be your kind of cheat code. You find a way to “play the game” that keeps you out of trouble, even though it bothers you deeply that you have to be fake to fit in, and you struggle to accept that being dishonest is “normal”.
Or if you have ADHD, you might find that entertaining others distracts people from the fact that you’re struggling with basic day-to-day tasks. You’re like “Look over here! Laugh at my jokes!” so they don’t see how hard it is to deal with a brain that relentless churns through thousands of random ideas every minute.
If you start being more honest and assertive, you’ll realize that your ADHD is not actually a problem that needs to be solved, and that your autism is not a disorder, it’s actually a strength.
Once you stop people pleasing, you’ll stop doing tasks just to fit in, and so you’ll be able to concentrate easier because you’re finally doing what you want to do. And once you learn powerful communication techniques, your thoughtless autistic truthfulness will be finely honed into attractive honesty.
- If you want relief from the burden of people-pleasing, check out my Nice Guy Syndrome Recovery course – comes with a 30 day money back guarantee so you can’t go wrong
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