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One reason that people pleasers like to stay people pleasers is because they have a black and white fallacy. They think the only other option is to be a complete asshole, so people feel stuck. I don’t want to be an asshole, I don’t want to treat people badly, so now I’ve got to be nice because I don’t want to be the other thing. But you’ve been conditioned and programed to think of certain traits, masculine, strong traits, as being bad. Things like assertiveness, things like power, courage, honesty, you think of these things as somehow harsh and blunt and harmful, when really, they’re just powerful. People react badly to them, it’s because those people are fragile. These are not the same things as being selfish and harmful and narcissistic. You’ve got to let go of the idea that there’s only two ways of being, nice and nasty, there’s actually a third way of being: powerful! that you’ve never even experienced