This one’s for all the partners of Nice Guys and people pleasers.

A common way that new coaching clients come to me is the partner of a Nice Guy contacts me after seeing my videos etc. and realising the truth about their man. They want to help him, and they’re afraid of how much Nice Guy Syndrome has already damaged their relationship.

What’s the best way you can possibly help a Nice Guy build their confidence?

There’s lots of different reasons why they have this problem; lots of different variations as to how it manifests. Some symptoms include but are not limited to: self sacrificing (followed by resentment); inability to express needs clearly and directly (covert contract); flat emotional affect; performance issues in bed; need to control everything.

But the number one thing they really need is to learn how to stand up for themselves powerfully, and for you to support this as their partner.

What this means is he needs to be able to stand up to you.

Confrontations with you need to be a safe practice environment for him, partly because standing up to you is going to be one of the hardest types of confrontations he can have, but also because you’re the place where he can practice this safely.

That means if you really want to support him, you need to understand that he might say things “wrong” and might not express himself clearly, and you’ll need to be patient and try your best not to take things personally.

So as long as you encourage him to stand up to you without punishing him for doing it, you can encourage him into developing himself into a more masculine and powerful man with others as well.

• If you’re the kind of man I’m talking about, then check out my Nice Guy Recovery course
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