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[Short] Good advice but bad intentions

I have a client whose ex-partner was recently giving him some advice on what he should do, and he could tell that she had her own agenda for giving this advice – that if he were to follow this advice, it would be actually in her best interest.

And so he was going to dismiss her advice for that reason.

But there’s a dilemma here, especially people like myself – people with ADHD and Nice Guy Syndrome. We have this innate urge to resist when it comes to people trying to tell us how to live. Despite our people-pleasing nature, we’re paradoxically repulsed by Authority.

And one of the things we’ll do is when we don’t trust someone’s intentions we will dismiss their advice, knowledge and wisdom. We’ll throw the bathwater and the baby out together.

What we have to understand is that sometimes good advice can have bad intentions, and sometimes good intentions can lead to bad advice. Just because they are looking out for their own best interest doesn’t mean this won’t be good for you too.

You need to separate these two: analyze the advice for rationality and wisdom, and then separately analyze their intentions to assess the health of your relationship with the person.


  • If you’d like to become more confident and powerful in your social interactions then check out my Nice Guy Recovery course
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