There’s a term I only learned recently called “breaking the fourth wall”.
This is where someone in a TV show or a musician or a magician includes the audience in the act and breaks the fiction to talk directly to the audience instead of pretending that they’re not there or maintaining the fiction.
And this is a great concept for honesty as well. You can do this in a discussion with someone during everyday situations.
Breaking the fourth wall means revealing to them the hidden stuff that’s going on inside your head, breaking the pretence or closing the distance between what they see and what’s really happening underneath.
Let’s say you’re trying to impress someone or you’re manipulating them, you can tell them that you’re doing that, and you’ll instantly connect with them very deeply.
This can mean showing your motives, like “I’m just saying this to impress you.”
It can mean showing your tactics, like “I have to disclose that part of the reason I say this is to make you more likely to buy this product”.
And it can simply mean breaking the false identity they may have conjured, like “Underneath all this outer confidence you’re seeing I’m actually really nervous right now”.
For example, I can tell you right now that part (but not all) of the reason for me writing these daily letters is to promote and sell my online courses, which in turns helps me find great coaching clients.
That’s breaking the fourth wall!
- If you’d like to become fearless enough to break your fourth wall and let people connect deeply, check out my Powerful Honesty: Develop Superior Communication Skills course
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