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So the other day, I committed another one of my classic ADHD fuck ups.
I thought I had an appointment at 8:00 in the morning, and warned my wife about it. Turns out that was next week – I had not checked my calendar properly. Because of this, my wife rescheduled a doctor’s appointment and had to rush her workout. She even felt stupid that she’d accidentally booked the doctor to conflict with my appointment.
When I sat down to my computer that morning, I was like, “Where’s my client?” Then I looked at my calendar, and my heart sank. I realised immediately that I had basically wrecked my wife’s day.
I knew that she’d be mad when I told her (I was already in trouble for some earlier errors too). I was so tempted, as we all are in these situations, to just not tell her. I could have easily let her believe that everything was as she thought it was.
I could tell myself that there’s no point to tell her now. Or that I’d only upset her further, that the truth would “hurt” her. Or that it wasn’t a big deal really. Or that silence doesn’t count as dishonesty.
But these are all lies. They’re the lies we tell ourselves to justify cowardice and people-pleasing manipulation tactics.
So I waited for her to get home, took a deep breath, and told her the truth.
Yes, she was mad. It was a few hours before she started talking to me again.
Why did I tell her when I knew nothing “good” would come of it?
Not because there’s any short-term gains, but because long-term confidence and integrity requires a consistency of honesty. Confidence comes at a price.
I have to be honest in moments like these, more than any other moments, if I want to build self respect and trust in our relationship. She might hate that I made the mistake, but she loves me for my honesty, my responsibility, and my respect.
Nothing good is for free. The best results in the long term require short term pain.
- If you want the confidence that comes with consistently honest integrity, then check out my Powerful Honesty: Develop Superior Communication Skills course ← this link gets you a big discount for a short time only